Difficult phone calls are something that almost every business has to face at some point. How a business handles those calls really matters.
Like most businesses, Paperclip is continuously trialling and assessing the potential benefits of applying AI and machine learning to aspects of our business model.
Our core services – call answering, contact centre, outbound calls, admin support – will always be delivered by Paperclip team members because we believe in the richness of human-to-human communication. That is also why we operate an outcomes-based approach to call answering rather than using rote scripts.
Ensuring our training materials are up-to-date and align with best practice, however, is a different matter. We recently ‘fed’ the Chat GPT agent with our training materials for handling difficult calls and then asked it to write an article on the subject.
We have published the article below because it provides an excellent summary of how to handle difficult calls. In particular, we liked the way the article differentiated between ‘angry callers’ and ‘abusive callers’ (see point 12 below)
We have retained all aspects of the Chat GPT article, including formatting and the occasional Americanisation.
Understanding difficult phone calls across different sectors
Call answering services that support diverse sectors (healthcare, legal, real estate, etc.) encounter a broad spectrum of challenging/difficult phone calls.
These difficult calls often involve heightened emotions or sensitive issues – from angry customers frustrated by service problems, to callers making threats or using abusive language, to individuals in emotional distress or discussing sensitive personal matters. In many cases, callers reveal their state of mind early on (through tone, urgency, or choice of words), allowing a trained responder to gauge the situation.
Regardless of the sector or scenario, the fundamental goal is to handle the interaction constructively: calming the situation, addressing the caller’s needs, and protecting the well-being of the call responder.
The following best practices and techniques – drawn from industry training materials and research – can help turn these challenging calls into productive conversations.
Core techniques for handling difficult phone calls
Remain calm and professional
The first rule in any difficult phone call is to stay composed. Maintaining a steady, professional tone helps defuse the caller’s anger and prevents further escalation. Callers often mirror the tone of the agent; if you project calm confidence, it can gradually lower the caller’s agitation. Remember not to take insults or venting personally – the caller is upset at the situation, not you. Take deep breaths if needed and focus on the issue, not the emotion. By keeping your cool, you set a positive example and give yourself a chance to guide the conversation toward a solution.
Practice active listening
Let the caller fully express their concerns without interruption. Use active listening techniques: concentrate on what the person is saying, occasionally paraphrase or summarise their points, and use verbal nods (“I see,” “I understand”) to show you’re engaged. This not only helps you gather important details but also makes the caller feel heard. In fact, many upset customers start calming down once they realise someone is genuinely listening. By reflecting back the caller’s words (“It sounds like you’re facing X issue and it has been very frustrating”), you demonstrate understanding. Research shows that 7 in 10 people prefer a thorough, attentive response over a rushed one, underscoring the value of patient listening in customer service.
Show empathy and validate feelings
Acknowledge the caller’s emotions and situation to build rapport. Empathy means putting yourself in their shoes and expressing understanding of their feelings. Simple phrases like, “I understand how upsetting this must be for you,” or “I’d be frustrated too in your situation,” can help diffuse anger by showing the caller you get why they’re upset. Even if you can’t immediately solve the problem, validation goes a long way – sometimes an angry or distressed caller’s primary need is to feel heard and understood. For example, if a medical patient’s family member calls in distress, you might say, “I hear how concerned you are about your loved one, and that’s completely understandable.” Empathetic language, delivered sincerely, helps calm the conversation and establishes you as an ally rather than an adversary.
Communicate clearly and positively
How you respond is as important as what you say. Use clear, positive language to guide the call. Avoid negative phrasing that can further upset the caller – for instance, rather than saying “I can’t do that”, focus on what you can do: “Here’s what I can do to help…”. Keep your tone respectful and your volume moderate even if the caller raises their voice.
Clarify the issue by asking polite, open-ended questions to ensure you understand all details (“Could you tell me more about what happened?”). If the subject matter is complex or sensitive (legal disputes, health concerns, etc.), be especially tactful and use simple language to avoid misunderstandings.
Always remain professional and avoid retaliatory or defensive comments, even if the caller is provocative. Professionalism on your part can prevent pouring fuel on the fire and instead steer the discussion toward resolution.
Apologise sincerely when appropriate
If the caller has experienced a mistake, service failure, or any inconvenience, offer a genuine apology to validate their experience. A statement like “I’m truly sorry for the trouble this has caused you” shows that you acknowledge the problem and care about their situation. Importantly, apologise without making excuses – the goal is to convey empathy and regret for their negative experience. Even if you personally are not at fault, a sincere apology on behalf of the company can help soothe the caller and demonstrate accountability. Pair the apology with assurance that you will help address the issue.
Be patient with emotional or distressed callers
Some callers may not be angry, but upset, crying, or highly anxious – for instance, a distressed client receiving bad news or a tenant upset over an urgent maintenance issue. In these cases, patience and empathy are paramount. Allow the person to express their emotions and speak at their own pace without rushing them.
Use a calm and reassuring tone. Show that you care by saying things like, “Take your time, I’m here to listen,” or “I can hear this is difficult for you.” Handling sensitive topics (health concerns, financial problems, legal troubles) also requires tact and confidentiality.
Reassure the caller that their issue will be handled with discretion and that you will do what you can to support them or connect them to the right help. Sometimes, providing appropriate support or guidance for sensitive issues may mean having protocols to transfer the call to a specialist or suggesting professional resources, if that aligns with your service (for example, transferring a grief-stricken caller to a counsellor on call). Above all, remaining patient and compassionate will help an emotional caller feel safe and supported.
Set boundaries with abusive or threatening callers
Unfortunately, some callers cross the line from justified frustration into abuse – using offensive language, personal insults, or threats.
It’s crucial for responders to protect themselves and maintain professionalism in these situations. If a caller becomes abusive, assertively but calmly establish boundaries: let them know that you want to help but cannot continue the conversation if the abuse persists.
For example, politely warn them by saying, “I’m sorry, but I cannot assist while I’m being spoken to in that manner. I want to help you, but I need us to keep this conversation respectful.” This sets a clear expectation for civility without escalating the confrontation. Often, reasonable callers will tone down once they realise their behaviour is unacceptable; if not, you may follow your organisation’s policy (such as involving a supervisor or ending the call after a warning).
Threats of violence or harm should be taken seriously – follow security protocols (for instance, alerting a manager or authorities if a caller makes a credible threat). Remember, your safety and dignity are as important as the customer’s issue.
Training in assertiveness can empower staff to handle abusive situations by remaining composed and in control of the conversation. Know that it’s acceptable to disengage from a call that crosses into harassment after appropriate warnings, according to your company’s guidelines.
Know when to escalate or get help
Not every problem can or should be solved by the frontline responder, and that’s okay. Part of handling difficult calls is recognising when to escalate the call to a supervisor or a specialist.
Signs that escalation is needed include: the caller explicitly demands to “speak to a manager,” the issue is beyond your authority or expertise, the caller remains extremely dissatisfied despite your best efforts, or the caller is becoming unmanageable or abusive despite warnings.
Have a clear protocol for escalation – for example, if a legal client is threatening to sue, it might be time to involve a senior attorney or manager.
Communicate to the caller that you are escalating in order to better assist them (“I’m going to involve my supervisor so we can get this resolved for you”). Most callers will appreciate that you are taking their issue seriously enough to involve higher-ups.
Seeking assistance is not a failure on your part; difficult calls often require teamwork. In fact, many organisations designate escalation agents or managers who have more authority to resolve complex or high-priority problems. Use them when needed – it ensures the caller gets the help they need and supports you as the responder.
Likewise, if you find yourself becoming too emotional or stressed during a call, it’s valid to ask a colleague or supervisor to take over.
Keep the caller informed and involved
Throughout the call, especially if it’s a longer interaction, keep the caller informed about what you are doing.
For instance, if you need to look up information or perform a task (like checking a policy or scheduling a service), explain it instead of silently putting the caller on hold. You might say, “I’m pulling up your account details now – it may take a few seconds, but I’m still with you.”
This transparency helps prevent the caller from feeling ignored or wondering what’s happening. Where possible, avoid placing the caller on a long hold at all; difficult callers’ patience is likely already worn thin from previous waits or issues. If a hold is unavoidable (to research an issue), ask for permission and give them a timeframe, checking back regularly (e.g., every 30 seconds) to reassure them you’re actively working on it.
Also, involve the caller in the solution process: after you propose a resolution, ask if that sounds acceptable to them, or if they have any additional concerns. Giving the caller a sense of collaboration can turn a confrontational call into a cooperative problem-solving session.
End on a positive note
No matter how challenging the call was at the start, strive to conclude the conversation on a courteous, optimistic note. Thank the caller for bringing the issue to your attention or for their patience, as appropriate.
Summarise the resolution or next steps so they feel confident about what will happen (“Okay, we’ve arranged a technician visit for tomorrow at 10 AM, and we will also follow up with you to ensure everything is fixed.”). If you have the ability, a small gesture of goodwill, such as a voucher, discount, or simply an assurance of priority handling, can help leave a positive final impression. The goal is to make the customer feel valued even after a rough interaction. In some cases, it may be wise to follow up later (with permission) – for example, calling back a day or two after resolving an issue to ensure the customer is satisfied. This can turn a previously unhappy customer into a loyal one by showing commitment to service.
But even if no follow-up is needed, end the call with polite closing remarks and ensure the caller knows you’ve taken their concerns seriously. Turning a difficult call around by the end is possible: it leaves the caller feeling heard and you, as the responder, with a sense of accomplishment and closure.
Document and learn from the call
After handling a difficult call, it’s good practice to document key details (especially in professional environments like law or healthcare). Make note of the caller’s issue, any threats or abusive behaviour (if applicable), and the resolution steps taken. This record can be invaluable if the issue escalates later or needs follow-up by someone else.
Finally, take a moment to reflect on the interaction once it’s over. What techniques worked well? Did any trigger points arise that you could handle differently next time? It can be helpful to debrief briefly with a colleague or supervisor, not in a blaming way, but to get input and emotional support.
Treat each tough call as a learning opportunity to refine your skills (“continuous improvement”). Over time, responders develop a kind of “muscle memory” for managing difficult calls effectively by continually learning from experience.
Organisations can support this by encouraging open discussions of challenging calls in team meetings or training sessions, turning individual lessons into shared knowledge.
Angry v abusive callers
It’s important to distinguish between an angry caller and an abusive caller, as the approach can differ. An angry caller may be loud and frustrated but stays focused on the issue (no personal attacks), whereas an abusive caller crosses into attacking or threatening the agent personally. The graphic below illustrates this difference: angry customers vent about a problem, while abusive ones use insults or aggressive language that is not acceptable.
Angry vs. abusive callers require different tactics. Angry callers express frustration (often loudly) but without personal attacks or profanity; these situations call for patience, active listening, and problem-solving. Abusive callers, on the other hand, use hostile language, insults, or threats – requiring the agent to set clear boundaries, possibly involve a supervisor, or end the call if the behavior continues.
Summary
In summary, managing a difficult call involves a combination of emotional intelligence (to stay calm and empathetic) and communication skills (to steer the conversation and solve problems).
Training programs consistently highlight using positive language, active listening, empathy, and clear problem resolution steps as core skills for defusing tense phone calls.
By applying these techniques, call handlers can transform even the toughest calls into opportunities to build trust with clients or customers.
This Chat GPT-generated article provides a really sound base on which to build training with regards to handling difficult calls, and has added one or two learning points for Paperclip to take into our own training programme in this area.
Anyone who has watched Ambulance on TV will recognise the incredible stress that call handlers have to deal with when dealing with, literally, life or death scenarios. Whilst things are not as extreme at Paperclip, we also have protocols in place for team members who have had to deal with a difficult call.
These will be the subject of a future article.
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Hi, I’m Louise Bellwood, Director at Paperclip. I am responsible for delivering Paperclip’s customer service and growth strategies for 2024 and beyond, I am a crusader for the benefits call answering can deliver for organisations of all kinds; customer service, sales generation, customer retention and more. If you have a question about call answering – pricing, set-up, benefits – I would love to hear from you at louise@paperclip.co.uk or 01246 418 181.